Listening without Judgement
Written on 3:31 PM by Moobells
Maybe it's the asian culture, we were brought up fearing to fall and make mistakes. AND if you think with the influence of western values, we might be changing, I think it's getting worse. The fact that I see and experience how many of my peers "over-protecting" their kids just verified, confirmed and stamped this statement.
Why are we so fearful of making that first step of even just to try out something new or different? I was brought up this way no doubt about it. I never learn how to swim or cycle out of mummy's fear that I will fall, hurt myself and even drown. And now in my 30s, I wonder what it's like if I have tried, if I have done A instead of B. But I could only wonder and deduce and never be able to make true that WHAT IF.
I heard too many said, it won't happen to me when my times come and yet I still see the exact PHOTOCOPIED when each and everyone of them turn to parents. We are engulfing them with this protective shield so much that he/she never learns how to grow or make decisions or decide without that shield.
When talking with our loved ones, we tend to jump into conclusion and giving advice too quickly and not listen. Like the Pilot inside The Little Prince, whose drawing of a boa constrictor with an elephant in its stomach, was being mistaken as a hat but the adults and the adults who just keep assuming it is so and "shut off" listening. Many a times, when dealing with our loved ones, did we not behave the same other than that of parents with kids?
A complains to B...
A says ... Today was such a lousy day...
B interrupts ... Must be C, right? Haiya!! Just ignore C lah!! Why bother?? I told you, he is transparent. You need to blah ... blah... blah...
A interrupts ... BUT...
B interrupts ... No BUT... Tomorrow, you just go and ....blah blah blah..
Sounds familiar??? A is not seeking B for any advice, A just wants his/her feelings known and to let out the frustration. AND soon A will learn there is no point for him/her to express and would stop talking about it completely.
Next time, when we felt like "jumping" into conclusions and shutting out to listen to the feelings of our loved ones. Maybe we should just bit our lips a little and be a little bit more patience...
